


Grace in the TARDIS

by pennypaperbrain



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen, Grace in the TARDIS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 14:49:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17123399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennypaperbrain/pseuds/pennypaperbrain
Summary: Just a few headcanons/vignettes for an AU where Grace gets to go in the TARDIS with the Doctor, Yaz and Ryan…





	Grace in the TARDIS

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cloama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloama/gifts).



_Asterisked Briticisms are in the glossary at the bottom..._  


  
**EPISODE 2: THE GHOST MONUMENT**

_Epzo has just shared the sad story of his abuse at the hands of his mother. Grace has taken Yaz into a huddle in the corner._

**Grace:** Epzo, love, wake up! _She gives him a kindly smile._ It were right awful, that story you told us. So if you’ll listen to an old lady for a moment… _Epzo looks surly but lets her lean in to speak to him._ If you let something like that turn you into a complete wazzock*, well… _She gives him another kindly smile and nods towards Yaz._

 **Yaz:** Every woman in the universe will laugh at you. Forever. 

**Epzo:** _horrified, obviously rethinking his entire life strategy ___

_Grace and Yaz hi-five behind his back._

  


(No **ROSA** entry because I think Grace appearing in that place and time would be reserved for black fans to speak about.) 

  
**EPISODE 4: ARACHNIDS IN THE UK**

**Doctor:** Welcome aboard. Properly. Oh. Do you want to do it tog…

 **Grace:** Waaaait! Back in a mo*.

_Grace rushes out of the TARDIS and returns 10 minutes later laden with a kettle, four mugs, a big photo album of Ryan and Graham, three wall hangings from her ancestors’ culture, a selection of comfy cardigans, blouses and trousers, a Kindle full of secret-indulgence romance novels, and twenty bars of Galaxy Caramel._

**Grace:** Got to make my room cosy. Ryan, hands off, you can get your own chocolate!

  
**EPISODE 5: THE TSURANGA CONUNDRUM**

****

****

**Grace:** Blimey, Doctor, that thing eats more than Ryan. Reckon they’ve got a kitchen in this spaceship? I’ll make it my chicken nyama choma, that’ll sort it out.

 **Doctor:** That may not be enough this time, Grace.

 **Grace:** _Shaking her head._ Just you wait and see.

  
**EPISODE 6: DEMONS OF THE PUNJAB**

**Doctor** _Thinking about Manish and his mob_. Poor Umbreen… You know, this being a woman thing... I mean, I think I’m getting the hang of it but I keep wanting to bang young men’s heads together. Will I get over it?

 **Grace:** You might. Takes about five hundred years, I reckon.

 **Doctor:** But… you’re a human. You can’t be more than about sixty-five.

 **Grace:** I know, love, I know.

  
**EPISODE 7: KERBLAM!**

**Grace:** Ooh! Interstellar Amazon? If they can do that, they can send a postcard!

 **Doctor:** A what?

 **Grace:** A postcard! It’s when you go on holiday and write stuff to people you know, like ‘Wish you were here’, though to be honest I don’t always wish Graham was here because he does take on so*… Ryan, don’t you dare tell your granddad I said that. Right, postcards all round for me WhatsApp nurses group!

  
**EPISODE 8: THE WITCHFINDERS**

**King James:** Are you actors?  


**Doctor:** We’re your witchfinders, sire, as we explained to Mistress Savage. _The Doctor holds out the psychic paper._  


**King:** Witchfinder’s assistant. Where is the Witchfinder?  


**Doctor:** Oh no! _She hands the paper quickly to Grace, who holds it out._  


**King:** Hm. Witchfinder’s servant. _He looks perplexedly around for a white man._ Where, then, is your master, woman?  


**Grace:** _Adopting an innocent and simple-minded expression._ He’s gone on to t’next village, sire! Said there was worse witches there, and we’d be enough to deal with Bilehurst and he’d go on.  


**King:** Oh, did he? Saddle up the horses, men, we’re moving on! _He buggers off._

  
**EPISODE 9: IT TAKES YOU AWAY**

_LOUD ROAR_

**Hanne:** It’s coming!

 **Grace:** _Looking out of the window._ I don’t see it.

 **Ryan:** It sounds like it's coming from the woods.

 **Grace:** It’s not getting any closer. _She frowns._ Right, if there’s one thing I can’t abide*, it’s a coward. _She marches outside._ Oy, you! Frightening little children and too afraid to show your own face! You get out here right now and answer to me. _Grace falls over the speaker._

  
**EPISODE 10: THE BATTLE OF RANSKOOR AV KOLOS**

**Grace:** My husband died because of you. 

**Tim Shaw:** Good.

 **Grace:** I used to tell him, when some pillock* comes at you, be t’better man. But I meant yobs shouting ‘old codger*’ at him when he were driving the Number 33 on a Friday night, not the likes of you. If being banged up* in a hill isn’t enough to keep some of you buggers down, I ain’t trusting some stasis chamber.

 **Tim Shaw** : And yet you falter!

 **Grace:** Give me a moment! I were explaining for Ryan's benefit, not yours.

_BANG._

  


**GLOSSARY FOR THE NON-BRITICALLY INCLINED**  
**banged up:** put in prison  
**can't abide:** can't stand  
**in a mo:** very soon  
**old codger:** doddery old fool  
**pillock:** idiot  
**take on:** fret  
**wazzock:** pillock

  



End file.
